Raising introverted children can present unique challenges, as their traits and needs can differ significantly from those of extroverted children. A lack of understanding of these differences can often lead to common parenting mistakes. In this article, we’ll address the most common parenting mistakes and tips for better understanding your child’s needs and creating a supportive environment that fosters their development and well-being.
Give him time for himself.
These children value their free time. From an early age, they enjoy playing with their toys, reading stories, and being at home, where they can follow their rhythms and entertainment. This doesn’t mean they aren’t sociable, but they also need time in their environment to recharge. To ensure your child feels calm, relaxed, and confident, it’s important to limit the number of extracurricular and scheduled activities. Let them have time to be at home and play at their own pace. If you notice that they withdraw after interacting for a while, don’t force them to socialize right away.
Don’t be ashamed
Shaming an introverted child is not an effective strategy, in fact, but a harmful one. It can be tempting to think that shaming will bring them out of their shell, but this is rarely the case. Phrases like: come on say something, we didn’t hear you or can you speak up? are counterproductive and should be avoided. Rather than helping, they can make the child feel even more withdrawn and anxious in social situations. As parents, it is important to adopt more understanding and respectful approaches to fostering our children’s confidence and communication.
Don’t betray your child.
When parents comment something like “Rodrigo is very shy,” they may inadvertently undermine the invisibility that the child uses to stay safe in their environment. This type of pointing out can have significant consequences, as the child may reinforce their resistance to social contact in response. Therefore, it is crucial to be aware of how our words and actions can influence our children’s self-image and confidence, giving them the necessary support without exposing them unnecessarily.
Always encourage him!
Some of the most common mistakes parents make are the tendency to try to force children to interact and not encourage them to get out of their comfort zone. If you want to know how to help an introverted child, keep in mind that some studies indicate that they can overcome their initial reluctance to socialize with the help of their parents. The goal is to help the child develop skills to converse with familiar children, greet relatives, establish relationships with new children, or participate in small groups.
Don’t give too much information.
Many children tend to be very private about their privacy. They don’t feel comfortable having their matters divulged, and so they may feel vulnerable if we share details like “Lucia has a beautiful costume at her house” or “Marcos loves petting the dogs” with their friends. These children are capable of sharing aspects of their lives and interests, but they prefer to do so when they are sure that the other person deserves their full trust.
Never speak for him
It’s a common mistake we make with all children, but it’s especially important to avoid talking to an introverted child for two reasons. First, she needs to feel entitled to not share information. And second, it can make her withdraw even more and avoid the effort of interacting with strangers. You can encourage your child to do so in private before or after social events. But if she doesn’t want to talk at a specific time, it’s important to respect her silence. Keep conversations going without focusing exclusively on the child.
Praise their progress
Very often, some children are faced with situations where they approach another child of their age but find it difficult to express themselves verbally with them. At such times, parents often intervene by urging them to speak; however, this reaction can discourage children and undermine their progress. Instead of verbal pressure, acknowledging their effort with a gesture of approval and confidence, such as patting their head, can be much more beneficial and comforting for your child.
As we understand and respect the needs of introverted children, we provide them with a safe environment and encourage them to grow at their own pace. By providing them with a space to flourish, we are cultivating confident, thoughtful, and compassionate individuals who can contribute meaningfully to the world around them. Let us always remember that diversity of personalities enriches our society and that every child deserves love, respect, and support.